I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
