what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
