My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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