Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When are your genitals available?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
