okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
