Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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