I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
