I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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