the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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