it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
