Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
