she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want her autograph on my taint
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
