How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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