help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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