Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
