Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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