just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
