Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
