THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
