Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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