Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Im part way to drunk.
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