just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.