She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night