Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.