Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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(620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au

Replies (53) Good night (12706) Bad night (827)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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(330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok

Replies (37) Good night (15500) Bad night (1296)
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(503): View more from Oregon

There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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(503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m

Replies (8) Good night (4393) Bad night (992)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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(970): I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently. http://tfl.nu/qjfh

Replies (2) Good night (2529) Bad night (750)
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(727): View more from Florida

There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"

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(727): There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000" http://tfl.nu/9a0a

Replies (13) Good night (2342) Bad night (946)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night

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(+44): oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night http://tfl.nu/5l2j

Replies (11) Good night (3480) Bad night (1352)
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(713): View more from Texas

That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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(713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi

Replies (8) Good night (2313) Bad night (896)
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(914): View more from New York

It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

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(914): It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional http://tfl.nu/y54e

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (2056)
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(619): View more from California

We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?

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(619): We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!? http://tfl.nu/jmdl

Replies (9) Good night (1415) Bad night (495)
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(626): View more from California

I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

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(626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05

Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (657)
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(775): View more from Nevada

If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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(775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav

Replies (4) Good night (1548) Bad night (629)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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(313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk

Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (368)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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(480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016

Replies (9) Good night (1446) Bad night (328)
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(416): View more from Toronto

What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!

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(416): What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time! http://tfl.nu/7efc

Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (292)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.

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(703): I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone. http://tfl.nu/d85b

Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (167)

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