At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce