Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules

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  (317): The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules http://tfl.nu/4e2d
  Replies (9) Good night (620) Bad night (853)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals

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  (660): i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals http://tfl.nu/iisz
  Replies (15) Good night (3498) Bad night (1114)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (172) Good night (5090) Bad night (17168)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.

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  (317): for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7. http://tfl.nu/34yz
  Replies (13) Good night (699) Bad night (3300)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year

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  (517): this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year http://tfl.nu/tikr
  Replies (19) Good night (8574) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (15270) Bad night (1479)
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  (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

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  (408): that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it http://tfl.nu/gsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (3823) Bad night (834)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes

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  (+44): what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/x7um
  Replies (7) Good night (3315) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...

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  (318): you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back... http://tfl.nu/qoth
  Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (2757)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.

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  (775): I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender. http://tfl.nu/0llk
  Replies (1) Good night (1068) Bad night (479)
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  (646): View more from New York

  If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.

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  (646): If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more. http://tfl.nu/8b5s
  Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (487)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.

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  (845): The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing. http://tfl.nu/8zr7
  Replies (3) Good night (1759) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?

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  (973): I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/blls
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.

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  (520): He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down. http://tfl.nu/0sgk
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.

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  (780): The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/zubn
  Replies (3) Good night (1367) Bad night (279)

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