I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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