Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
