so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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