Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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