Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
