My Higher Power is John Stamos
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
