Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
