So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
