oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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