what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
