I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
