youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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