Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
