3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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