I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
