He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We just shotgunned beers for America
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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