Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
