I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
