If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize