theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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