dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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