Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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