I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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