never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome