the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere