Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
