No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
