Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's just like the Real World with babies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Every concussion has its silver lining
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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