but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
