thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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