So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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