I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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