Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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