I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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