I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
