stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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