It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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