Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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