Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize