Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
